Remembering the Life of Jade Pasley Today

This is another poignant “cancer sucks big-time day” for me and others who know and love Jessica Pasley and her family: husband Irvin, son Myles and daughter Gigi. On this day, 10 years ago, Gigi’s twin sister, Jade, died of the acute myelogenous leukemia that Gigi has survived after intense treatment and two bone marrow transplants over the years (thank you again Donor Joe!). Or as Jessica puts it, she joined Heaven’s team.

By a random (random?) set of circumstances, I happened to be with Irvin and Jade at the moment Jade passed away. That moment is very personal and I won’t go into details, other to say that I don’t think I have ever experienced  such stillness and peace and intense silence before or since.

I actually don’t think my being there was random at all. I will forever feel honored to be present for that sacred moment. I believe the power of having borne witness to that is just one thing that keeps me coming back to work every day to do what I do. I am not a scientist or a doctor. I will never heal someone with cancer and I won’t discover the cures. But maybe, just maybe, if I tell the stories of those that do well enough, I can motivate someone to get involved or to give the money that will help us create the world without cancer that we all want.

Cancer doesn’t just affect the person who develops it. It has a lasting impact on everyone who knows and loves that person. And the impact doesn’t stop when treatment ends. Cancer, and unfortunately the things we have to do to kill the cancer, can take a lasting toll on the survivor, the family and those around them.

There are 12 million cancer survivors in the United States, and that number is growing. As long as cancer still sucks, we need resources like Gilda’s Club. We at Vanderbilt-Ingram Cancer Center are proud to partner with Gilda’s — it’s a perfect marriage because we can focus on what we do best — the latest specialized cancer care available anywhere and a broad range of cutting-edge research — and work with Gilda’s to meet the psychosocial needs of survivor, family and those around them.

Cancer still sucks … did  I mention that? But in honor of Jessica, Irvin, Myles and Gigi — and especially dear sweet Jade — I am going to now focus the rest of my day on celebration. Celebrating and honoring Jade’s life and all the Pasleys, their strength, their passion, their example of resilience. And I will honor especially Jessica, with whom I identify the most as another mom. I cannot imagine what her journey has been like but I so respect how she has done it with commitment and with a frank honesty that has made this a life lesson for all of us.

Jade … we miss you!

Check Out The New Pix

And thank our semi-official photographers, David and Pam Martin. Please take a look, help us identify folks and fill in descriptions by posting your comments. I have a whole bunch more I’ll upload over the next few days.

You’ll find the photos — and the link to the online giving page — in the right-hand sidebar column.

In the meantime, hope everyone is warm, safe and enjoying this absolutely gorgeous day in Nashville. Sparkly snow, clear blue sky, and sunshine! This is a rare event so don’t let it slip by without stopping a moment to appreciate it. Besides, the dreaded icy Monday morning commute is still a few hours away!

Cancer Doesn’t Take a Snow Day

If you don’t live in Middle Tennessee, you may be unaware of the big, big, big thing going on here. It is a SNOW APOCALYPSE. See, we rarely have more than an inch or two of snow at a time — and for the past several winters, rarely more than the occasional “dusting” or “wintry mix.” We do get ice from time to time, which is impossible to drive on, I don’t care how many Michigan winters you have lived through, thank you very much. But it is an understatement to say that snowfall is a community bonding event here. Everyone waits anxiously for the magic four words — “it’s snowing in Memphis” — and panic ensues. Grocery store parking lots are packed. Milk, eggs and bread cannot be found on the shelves. You’d think Nashvillians ate nothing but french toast when it snows and that it would be weeks — not a day or two — till the roads cleared.

That’s under normal circumstances.

But today, we are in the midst of a SEVERE WINTER STORM (emphasis the National Weather Service’s, not mine).

Forecasts call for 4-9 inches by the time the snow stops sometime late tomorrow. So this is beyond routine. Schools announced yesterday afternoon that they would not open today. Events and meetings were cancelled. Though I know that it was done to assure proper hospital staffing levels, I had to laugh out loud around 3 or 4 o’clock yesterday (sun still shining) when Vanderbilt’s overhead system announced that we were in disaster plan standby mode “for inclement weather.” Standby?,” I thought. “Till tomorrow?”

I toughed it out today longer than many. I needed to be at a site visit for our new Oncology Clinic in Green Hills by 8. Nothing was happening when I arrived, but by the time I left, snow was coming down hard. It was wet and slick, and the temperature was hovering around freezing, which is when we get the best, most beautiful, wettest, messiest snows ever. Then there was a meeting I hadn’t been able to cancel, then the phone rang, and rang again. Before I knew it, it was 1 o’clock and the snow was piling up. I decided not to be a martyr and headed home.

As I locked up my office, that’s when I realized that while many on my floor were gone, it was far from a ghost town. Breast cancer researcher Carlos Arteaga (who seems to always be in his office when he’s not traveling to one conference or another) was still plugging away, at a grant or a manuscript, I would bet. As I walked past the conference room, I noticed the screen down, and young scientists around the table, looking at data charts and cell images. As I walked through the lobby, I was greeted by a hubbub of people, the valets going back and forth to fetch cars in the snow, patients and families bundling up before heading outside, the front desk greeter helping folks on with their coats and scarves.

That’s when it hit me. Cancer doesn’t take a snow day. It doesn’t take vacations. It doesn’t slip out early to catch an opening matinee. Cancer patients and their families don’t get a snow day from cancer either. In fact, they may not get a break for the rest of their lives from some physical, medical, spiritual or psychological impact of their cancer and its treatment.

Yes, I came on home. I don’t drive well in the snow and it’s better for everyone that I’m here, safe and sound, and not on the road making life difficult for those around me. But I’m not taking a snow day, and neither are other members of Gilda’s Gang. We may not train as a group tomorrow but we are still training. Whether it’s doing strength training, walking/running on a treadmill or working on our fund-raising emails and letters, there is no snow day. 

So cancer be warned: we’re not taking time off either.

Game still on.

Ohana Means Family, Family Means No One Gets Left Behind

When I did Gilda’s Gang two years ago, I had the opportunity to meet an impressive young woman named Michelle Eckland. At the time, Michelle was a freshman — a freshman who moved into a dorm at Vanderbilt University, more than 1,000 miles from her family, only two weeks after burying her mother, who had died of a rare liver cancer. She felt very alone until she found Gilda’s Club, and she’ll tell you that Gilda’s Club and participating in Gilda’s Gang has been life-changing for her.

This year, the Gang will be another life-changing experience for all of us, in one or another, but Michelle is working hard to make it extra special for one fellow cancer survivor, Moe Mantus. Physically speaking, Michelle and Moe couldn’t be more different. He’s over 6 feet tall, in his 70s and weighs 220 pounds or so. Michelle is a college student with only 110 pounds on her petite frame.

Vanderbilt student Michelle Eckland and her friend Moe Mantus

But what they have in common is a desire not to let cancer and its impact keep them from living life to the fullest and achieving their dreams.

See, Moe used to compete in marathons. He wears his medals from past marathons with great pride. Michelle and Moe met at a glass-painting class at Gilda’s a few month back. She learned of his dream to do another half-marathon, a dream that seemed out of reach because he can walk only very short distances now. Michelle quickly volunteered to pull a team together to push Moe the 13.1 miles in a wheelchair.

Michelle says that Gilda’s Club Nashville reminds her of a line in the movie “Lilo and Stitch.” Lilo tells Stitch that “ohana means family and family means nobody gets left behind.”  To Michelle, Gilda’s is family, so Moe is family. She is determined that Moe will not be left behind. “There are so many things in life that are out of my control but, this is one way that I feel I can help one man’s dream come true,” Michelle says.  

The devil is, of course, in the details and the details are considerable challenges. Michelle is looking for a wheelchair that will be suitable for such a long distance and such a hilly course. She needs Gilda’s Gang volunteers who are willing to train not only to go the distance but do it while taking turns pushing Moe. And to be frank, all this is happening while a very enthusiastic Moe is chomping at the bit to get started so we’re all feeling anxious to get the logistics worked out.

 Do you know anything about this sort of thing? Do you know where we might find a suitable wheelchair? Can you help us by posting encouragement on this blog for the entire Gang but especially Team Moe? Can you offer a donation — big or small — through our online giving page?

But most of all, is there someone in your own circle who is at risk of being left behind? Remember “ohana” and Michelle’s commitment to make sure none of her “family” is left at the starting line.

160 Gang Members and Counting … There’s Room for More

This might fall into the category of a “champagne problem.” Gilda’s Gang 2010 is proving to be wildly successful, and we’re only two weeks in. Last year, we had 120 teammates, which dwindled to about 100 by Race Day. So far this year? We’re up to 160 on the roster, and 97 folks came to the Clubhouse for training today. By comparison, in years past, we had 40-50 most Saturdays.

Why is that a problem at all? It’s really not. Truly. We are thrilled. But we are going to have to rethink how we organize ourselves in the morning. We may have to try to get to the Clubhouse a little bit earlier to find parking. We may have to beg/bribe our neighbors to let us park in their locations — we’re hopeful since it’s a Saturday when they are not open for business. And we may need a few Gilda’s Gang members to come in a bit early and help get us herded up for training. It takes organization to sign everyone in, pass out the maps, make sure everyone heads out with the right group, and assure that everyone is back safe and accounted for at the end of the morning (we are nothing if not safe about this whole thing!).

Now that I’ve covered the challenge, let me share the up-side of such growth in the Gang. First, more teammates means more money raised to keep the red door at Gilda’s open and providing important services — completely free — to survivors and others impacted by cancer. As one of our teammates, Pam Martin, says, Cancer Still Sucks Big-Time, and as long as it does, we must make sure that red door stays open.

Second, as important as the invaluable financial support is the greater awareness of this wonderful resource, right here in our own community.

So you’ll see in this video interview with Gilda’s Club’s Deb Sandvik, having so many people join the gang truly is a “champagne problem,” and one we’ll just put a cork in:

So you see, we have room for a few more. Help us reach our goal of 200 Gilda’s Gang members. Or support the cause through my easy and secure online giving page. The link is in the right-hand sidebar.

Thanks for reading!

PS to Gilda’s Gang members: a few of us are planning to go over to Athlete’s House on Saturday after training for shoe fitting. Feel free to join us, although be forewarned that I and my Flip Camera will be there documenting the experience.

What a difference a week makes!

They say if you don’t like the weather in Nashville, you should just wait a few days because it will change. Tomorrow when we hit the streets for our training session at 8 a.m., it will be in the mid-40s. That’s practically tropical compared to last week. For those of you who braved it with me, kudos to you, my friend. Pat yourself on the back. For those of you stayed in your warm bed (you know who you are), I promise that the guilt you feel will be greatly reduced if you support one of us with a little donation.

It’s been a crazy week, so I’m going to simply introduce you to a few folks that we got to meet at our first training session last Saturday. I promise to post more frequently in the future.

So first, we got our instructions by one of our coaches and met a very special teammate, Mo. You’ll get to know Mo more through this blog during our training, but the short version is this: Mo used to compete in marathons, but like many cancer survivors, cancer has put limits on what he can do. But it hasn’t put limits on his determination or his spirit, and with a little help from his friends … well, I won’t spoil the surprise. Check out the video:

Next, we met Tanika and Robert. Tanika works for Heritage Medical Group, which has been a big, big, big supporter of Gilda’s Gang. Last year, they put up a big door at their office and painted it red like the trademark Gilda’s Red Door to mark their progress. Her husband, Robert … well, let’s just say like me he has a little personal motivation for putting on his walking shoes in addition to wanting to support Tanika and Gilda’s Gang.

And last, just a little proof that we really did do this, in 15-degree weather, all three miles. The Frothy Monkey is always good, but it was especially good after that time in the cold wind.

Tomorrow, we’ll learn a bit about shoes from the folks at the Dayani Center and our friends at Athlete’s House. I’m looking forward to balmy temps, introducing you to some more Gang members and sharing tomorrow’s experience with you. 

It’s not too late to join us. We’re only at the second week of training. No catching up to do. Or please consider supporting the Gang. There’s a link to an easy online giving form right here on this page.

Thanks!

$10 here, $25 there … soon we’re talking real money

Tonight I set up my easy and secure online giving page. Having this option for folks makes it so easy to fund raise. You can send an email to everyone you know — and trust me, you know more people than you realize. You can post it on Facebook. You can share the link on Twitter. You can include the link in your email signature.

Worry that you can’t raise the minimum $750 just shouldn’t be enough to keep you from joining us for Gilda’s Gang.

I was reminded tonight of the power of this process.  You start by giving yourself a donation. Then you hit up your parents, or your siblings, or your children. Your co-workers. Your friends. Your neighbors. $10 here, $25 there … it starts to add up.

Then you share with all of your contacts a photo of the complete smiling team, all lined up in front of the Clubhouse, with a short description about how hard you are working and how amazed you are at your progress and how wonderful all the new friendships are.

And another $10 here, $25 there … it adds up some more.

Then long about February, maybe one morning when it’s bitter cold again and you really would rather hit the snooze button, you’ll think about all those folks who’ve given $10 here and $25 there. How they’ve really placed a lot of confidence in what you are doing, what they believe you CAN and WILL do on April 24. You won’t want to let them down, and that will drive you out of bed and into your running shoes … and across the finish line in April.

Please. Don’t let the fund-raising thing scare you off. It’s easy. And if you run into trouble, there are folks to help you.

I hope to see you at 8 a.m. Saturday at Gilda’s Club Nashville, 1707 Division Street. We’re gonna do our first 3.1 miles and we’ll have Frothy Monkey coffee and Star Bagels waiting for us when we’re done. A general information session will follow.

Of course, if you are snug in your warm bed on Saturday while the rest of us are out in the cold (you KNOW who you are), you can ease your guilt (which I know will be considerable) by giving to our cause … at our easy and secure online giving page right here.

Don’t you hate it when your mother is right?

Or in this case, it’s probably more my grandmother. Standing up straight and keeping my hair out of my eyes were important to my Nana Lois. At least those are two things she always seemed to be worried about.

I have been very near-sighted for years, and I blame writing and editing in front of a computer for the continued downward spiral. Hair in my eyes did not make me any more near-sighted. However, the posture thing … well, those bad habits have caught up with me. I have been diagnosed with a “rotator cuff impingement,” which basically has resulted from decades of scrunching forward at my computer, holding the phone under my chin while I type, sleeping in weird positions with my arms over my head, and carrying stylish but heavy shoulder bags. The straw that broke the camel’s back — or in this case, pinched my tendon — was lifting a heavy computer bag out of my back car seat at a weird angle. 

The pain has been interfering with my walking because it hurt when my arm moved forward in a normal stride. But the experience that sent me to the nice folks at Vanderbilt Orthopedics was not being able to carry a a grande latte as I walked across campus. Interfere with my coffee intake and multi-tasking … well, that’s serious.

So I’m doing some physical therapy to make sure I’m in tip-top condition to start training officially on Saturday.

Don’t forget the last information session TONIGHT at 6 p.m. at the Clubhouse, 1707 Division Street. More information is available by calling Deb at 329-1124.

Next time: I’ll tell you about how crazy easy it is to start fund-raising for this thing — and how easy it will be for you to support the Gang!

One more reason to join Gilda’s Gang

Participants in Gilda’s Gang get a discount on Country Music Half Marathon registration. Every little bit counts these days.

AND a reason to join up now — registration for the Country Music Marathon increases on Jan. 1.If you register by Dec. 31, your registration fee (pre-Gilda’s discount) is $85 for the half. The next day, it’ll be $105.

I figure that I can carry the $20 I save by registering before New Year’s in my pocket in case I need a cab to the finish line. (Don’t flame me; I’m just joking!!!!)

So, give Deb Sandvik at Gilda’s Club a call — 615-329-1124. Once you’re all signed up, she’ll give you the super-duper secret coupon code for your $10 discount.

Being bullish — or making my last pedi for a while count

My daughter and I bugged outta town for Christmas. Just on a whim, grabbed two tickets to Tampa and headed south. Why Tampa, folks ask? Do you have family there? In a word, no. MJ accompanied me on a business trip there last summer and we had fun. So when we wanted to head to the sunshine and warm temps, that’s where we went.

As a result, I’ve kick-started my training with several walks Channelside in the warm weather. Not sure yet if that makes it easier or harder to trek out in the cold now that I’m home. I’ll let you know.

We also splurged on hot stone massages and pedicures. Not that unusual on vacation, but I enjoyed my pedicure with more relish than usual. I realized mid-way through that it will be my last for a while. When you are training for 13 miles, callouses are your friend. Maintaining color is tougher when you are pounding the pavement as well.

So what color did I choose? As is typical with nail colors, you can’t tell one darn thing about the color itself from the name — Bullish on OPI. I just chose it because it was a nice brick red color. Then the name hit me. Bullish: obstinate or stupid; hopeful or confident.

Which seems about right, either way, for my state of mind of about this half marathon thing. I have a sprained ankle (turned wearing some really cute but apparently dangerous clogs) and a rotator cuff impingement requiring physical therapy (lots of years of bad form on the computer, telephone and carrying heavy shoulder bags). But somehow I still feel ready to do this. 

What about you? Are you bullish?

There’s another info session next week — Jan. 5, starting at 6 pm at the Clubhouse, 1707 Division Street in Nashville. Call Deb Sandvik at 615-329-1124 if you need more details.